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The Friend Zone

09.06.05 | Comment?

No guy wants to enter the Friend Zone. This is the dark corner of the relationship grotto between men and women. A perfect condition for the woman and a fiery perdition for a man.

What is this sad state of affairs? It usually works like this: Boy is interested in Girl. Boy gives Girl attention. Girl thinks Boy is a “great guy”. Which means she sees him as a friend and not a lover. Boy has made the mistake of being the nice guy and is now subject to a number of things including, late night phone calls about other guys and being around her constantly without the slightest chance of getting any ass. (Some girls will change in front of their male friend, which isn’t all that bad) All the while, Boy’s feelings for her will NOT subside. Boy may even get the crazy notion that there is the possibility, if he works it right, that there could be some fireworks in the future. Not a chance. You see, women think that a platonic relationship can actually exist with a man.

The journey to the Friend Zone is an easy one unfortunately. A few missed opportunities here, a few “nice” gestures there, and you’ll find yourself in the Friend Zone faster than you can say “Shoulder to cry on”.

Here are some handy tips to help you and your buddies stay OUT of the Friend Zone:
1) Never, EVER, discuss the ex-boyfriend with her.
2) Try to treat her like shit.
3) Do not go shopping with her until the deal is sealed.
4) Pretend you’re not interested.
5) Try not to make her laugh.

Gentleman, I urge you to avoid the Friend Zone at all costs. I hate this evil place so much that I’m rejecting my ex-girlfriend’s pleas for it. Aren’t you suppose to remain friends after you break up with someone?

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