Another Old List

Here’s a list I recently took down from Myspace. Some are repeats.

I make lists.

Best place for discovering new adjectives: DVD special feature documentaries. There is no end to the exotic words pretentious actors will use on camera.

Putting on a wet bathing suit is the worst thing in the world.

Be careful, Almost everything I say on the internet has two meanings.

When someone tells you to follow your heart, you’re actually following
your brain.

I wear the same jeans for months at a time without washing them.

Biggest fear: Falling in love with the stripper giving me a lap dance.

My favorite season is Fall.

My favorite seasoning is Rosemary.

Salt is way better than sugar. Speaking of which. I’m done with the salt and pepper convention. In my house its thyme and garlic powder.

The State has greatly influenced my humor.

Money is an enigma to me. I don’t comprehend how to make it, how to account it, or how to save it. I wish we could go back to trading sea shells. I’m the Daddy Warbucks of a sea shell-based economy.

Hermit crabs are frickin’ bizzare.

I didn’t understand college until after I graduated.

Protocol sucks.

I use a Mac. And I’m an elitist snob about it.

The Muppets are the coolest.

I would follow Trey and Matt anywhere.

I’m in love with something I once had.

This is all a facade. I’m a miserable piece of shit. Wait….

People say I look like Liev Schrieber and Michael Imperioli and… Brad Pitt. Wait….

I’m proud to be a pure breed Italian.

My deadly sin is gluttony.

Haven’t gotten over that fear of public speaking yet. When does that happen?

I’m the creepy guy on the train who keeps dozing off. My head usually ends up on the person next to me.

As a general rule, I never carry razor blades in my pocket.

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