Dumb Technology

This isn’t going to be the most pleasant post. I’m going to say things and speak about things that may make people uncomfortable. May make people sick. May even make people run. If I don’t bring this up now though… there is no tellling what could happen. It could potentially go unspoken about for another year, maybe two. I’m talking about the dumb technology they’re outfitting toilets with these days.

See.. the toilets at work have those motion sensors. So when you sit down on one of them you don’t have to touch a thing. Once you’re done with your business, the toilet auto-magically flushes for you. Yeah great. Fancy AND clean. Wonderful. Problem is, when you get up to complete the job, it flushes. You’re done wiping but the thing has already flushed. Mission accomplished in its eyes. However, the only way to avoid dealing with a toilet full of dirty paper is to either run for it, or push that tiny little button directly under the sensor. Which of course totally defeats the purpose. Tried waving my foot in front of the sensor, nothing. Tried sitting down and getting up quickly, nope. And that’s completely asinine. There’s some kind of statue of limitations on that thing anyway. You have to sit down for a good minute before the sensor re-arms itself. That’s really a minute I don’t have. I just end up running for it. Foregoing the hand washing. And the dignity.

I’m kidding. I always wash my hands.

Don’t get me wrong, I love good tech like the next guy. I’m all about making life easier. But I must ask you… What was wrong with the old-fashioned way? A flusher that you could just step on with your foot when you’re good and ready. The bottom of my shoe never complained about uncleanliness. Bring back please.

Need an example of good loo tech? For nearly 20 years, those feisty Japanese have been using a device called an Otohime, which means Sound Princess. This is a little box with a motion sensor and a speaker that reproduces the sound of running water when you’re near it. Placed by a toilet, it’s an environmentally friendly way of turning on the water when things aren’t coming out as planned. And a great way to combat stage-fright too! That’s the kind of technology I can stand in front of.

So I beg you, great innovators. Please think before you act. Some things aren’t broke.

Leave a Reply