John, The Apple Guy

Well it’s another conference for Apple (WWDC) and that means a new bunch of arousing goodies for the Apple cult to feast on. With these, come online guided tours of new wares the company will peddle. And each tour is guided by…. John. John is the non-threatening, salt and pepper haired, bespectacled Baby Boomer who supposedly works at an Apple retail store and dresses just like Jobsy. Every line and hand gesture perfectly rehearsed. John, is a robot we can look up to.

There’s just something that rubs me the wrong way about ‘ol John. Maybe it’s the fact that he tries so hard to be just like “one of us”. Or it might be his distracting use of hands. He just feels like an anthropomorphic manifestation of the Apple marketing department. I’m not buying it. Sure the guy gets the job done. The message across. But… “do we have to put up with this? I mean, can’t we get a better actor? I know it’s a small part, but I think we can do better than this.”

Check out John in action.


  1. Greg October 28, 2008

    I really think Apple has heard me. Haven’t seen John in a while.

  2. tom February 14, 2009

    your wrong. he does work work at an apple store and he’s gonna keep doing the vids for apple. don’t worry.

  3. Bob March 27, 2009

    You blow for having no idea what you are talking about. Walk a mile and then criticize. You dingleberry.

  4. Ally December 9, 2009

    I know this man. His name is spelled JON world.

Leave a Reply