The answer to Identity Theft

Here’s a good way to combat identity theft.

Have important documents but not the space to store them? Can’t afford a paper shredder? Do prowlers go through your trash at night? Rummaging through your table scraps and Q-tips? Try this handy tip next time you need to throw out those old bank statements. Drop some used condoms on top of the trash bag that contains your files. Everyone is grossed out by used condoms.

Don’t have used condoms? Try balloons and shampoo. That should create the proper illuuuusion to thwart any would-be thieves. Sleep better knowing your important papers are securely tucked away under birth control. Used condoms could be the solution to the growing identity theft problem in this country. Learn to protect yourself.

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