The Bronx Zoo

Ok, the baseball season is officially over for the New York Yankees. They’ve missed the playoffs for the first time in 13 years, blah blah blah. But this doesn’t tell the whole story. The Bronx Bombers haven’t been the same since October 2004. We all know what happened then.

I submit that we need to bring back The Bronx Zoo. The Joe Torre era is over. It’s time to put some fire into these overpaid ding-dongs. Joe Girardi tried to do that this year with little success. His demeanor with the Marlins two years ago was staunchly different than it was with the Yankees this year. He’s managing for a storied franchise. Replacing the phlegmatic Torre. He’s trying to manage people who in some cases are older than him. In other cases are ex-teammates. Where in Florida he had the young players’ ears… Here he’s got a bunch of gigantic egos to coordinate.

I don’t know how Jeter acts in the clubhouse. His personality in interviews however doesn’t lead me to believe he’s stirring anything up in there. He was brought up by Joe Torre. That’s not how he acts. I’m sure they all believe that they’re all highly paid professionals and that they should be able to self-motivate at will. But it just hasn’t happened in the past 4 years. Do you ever watch A-Rod in post-game interviews? It’s like he’s channeling Torre. Same exact mannerisms and all. A-Rod was at his best last year when he stopped caring what people said or thought about him and started playing baseball again.

Hank, you want to stay older? Bring back Sheffield. He’ll help create a zoo atmosphere. Re-sign Giambi. He and Captain Caveman are the only two people on the team that seem to make the clubhouse fun. I know Giambino likes to play the field, but he’s proven to be a liability. He’d make a terrific DH when you sign Teixeira this winter. I’m sure you’re gonna go after CC this offseason as well. It looks like he’s got some fire in him. And he wears his hat just like Joba! Go for it. Here’s another idea… Sign Milton Bradley. He’s coming off of a terrific season, and no one creates tension like Mr. Bradley. As much as I truly love Matsui, he’s getting old. Trade him and put Bradley in right.

Hank, you need to let Girardi know it’s time to get pissed. Get in the players’ faces. Your father was a master at doing this through the sports media. You have failed miserably this year. You need to study baseball this offseason my man. Maybe hire a writer for your personal staff. Your comments to the media have only made YOU look bad. Really bad. The Yankees are all about drama and the only drama we had this year was Giambi’s leopard underwear and your dumb comments.

This team needs to get angry.

Yawwwwwwwn.
Roooooarrrr!

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