I’ve been a bar soap man all of my life. I was a briefs man until college but that’s neither here nor there. I never could understand body washes. Something was missing. Then I was turned on to the loofah. I’d made fun of loofahs in the past, but I was feeling saucy at the time and figured I’d give the whole thing a whirl. Seemed like the appropriate moment. Shit, I’ll try anything once. So I made the trek to Target, picked out the manliest black loofah I could find, some nice tea tree body wash, and began exfoliating like it was my business.
That was nearly two months ago. But my loofah hasn’t aged a bit. How do I know when to change my loofah? See… with soap you can watch it slowly melt away until its time to piggyback that nub of nitro onto a new bar. A better analogy may be a toothbrush. At least with a toothbrush you can clearly see the bristles have worn down and its time to replace. My loofah however seems to be made out of some kind of space-aged polymer. I could return this thing tomorrow and get my money back. Full refund. Where does one get information and technical support on loofahs?
What the hell am I talking about?