— M i a b i . F i l m s

Archive
August, 2009 Monthly archive

You had many friends. Many fans. Like Mrs. Rogers, a 2nd grade teacher at Riker Hill Elementary in Livingston, NJ, who once said, “Follow this rule, and you’ll be the next Shel Silverstein.”* We gather here today to pay tribute and respect to the “I before E, except after C” rule. Grammar police in the UK have decreed that you are “no longer worth teaching” because not enough words actually follow your lead.

Excuse me? Not enough words my arse. I recite this rule in my head a couple times a week and it never seems to fail me. Not enough words… Bupkis I say. I’m crying fowl. Foul I say! Fowel. Next you’re gonna say there’s an “I” in “Team”.

I was always under the impression that English was a funky language because it has all of these exceptions to the rules. The trick is learning those exceptions. Or, alternatively, letting your spell checker correct your spelling errors for you. The “I before E, except after C” rule is one of the best for the sole reason that many words DO follow it. Let’s not give up on it yet.

*I don’t believe she ever said that.

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My love of robots is well-documented here. But I think scary clowns work well too. Check out this amazing ad for these new Phillips HD TVs. (A little old I know. I’m going through my “drafts” and realized I never posted this.)

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Speaking of bytes… How big is bite-size? How do they know? It’s gotta vary right? While we’re at it, how big is a morsel? Approximately the size of a dollop? A dab-ill-do-ya? Dollop is a cool word. It’s a twisty palindrome. Twist it like salt water taffy and it’s the same forward and back. dollop. The d and p. Seriously, I take big bites.

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Love at first byte.

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Spam. We all deal with it. No matter how inconspicuous you try to be, spam will find a way to you. No matter how good your spam filters are, some will get through. It ranks right up there with miabifilms.com and pop-ups as the most annoying things on the internet.

Half of all the spam I get goes toward penis enlargement. The other half is split up among online drug stores, phishing scams, and fundraising requests from the alumni association. Admittedly, that last one may not be spam. Depending on your definition. Spam, however, does offer a lot of opportunities for humor.

Here is a recent spam headline I found hilarious:

Fornicate like a Macho!

Post some of your favorite spam headlines and lets go spamming the world!

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What a sight to see this morning. As I was walking from the subway to my office, I saw a bunch of grizzly, hard-hat clad, construction workers gathered around in a circle. Sweating and cursing and doing what real men do.

For some reason they had congregated under the very same scaffolding they were constructing. A bevy of them right there in the middle of the sidewalk, impeding morning commuters. But as I’m saying to myself, “What the hell are these guys doing?” I realized what they were doing. They were showing each other their iPhones. Comparing apps. And all was forgiven. iPhones aren’t just for hipsters.

All hail Steve.

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Ever notice that whenever you call a doctor’s office or a support line or any place were they have an automated robot answering system, you always have to “listen carefully because the menu options have recently changed”. I’ve never called at just the right time when the menu options have been sitting stagnant for a while. They’re apparently always shifting and moving and changing and hugging.

The wonder of Science!

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Once, just once… I’d like to try blowfish. I won’t go near mangos. Keep me away from caviar. But I’m willing to put my life on the line for a fine dish of blowfish. It is a delicacy after all. If that’s not courage then call me a lion.

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Dog bone paperclip goes horribly wrong…

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

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Saw this film on motionographer and thought I should repost. Even though DB is a European company, the ecological advice in this video works for everybody. I’m sure most people have heard these tips before, but the more they’re relentlessly pounded into our heads, the quicker conservation will become second nature.

Besides, for every individual view the video gets, DB will donate 10 cents to the Bergwaldprojekt e. V., which has worked for over 20 years preserving and protecting forests in Germany. A tree is a filter that gives us air. And forests have a lot of them.

Danke schön

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