How I operate in the morning.
Sleepwalk to work. Get to the elevator doors. Eight available to me. There is no one else waiting. Perfect. Come on come on come on. Open mother fucker. Shit, here comes someone else. She doesn’t work on 19. That’s where I need to go. 19. Damn it. One extra stop. Here comes someone else. I don’t recognize him either. I’m going to have to wait for the next elevator. Can’t chance it. I’m not taking the local. I want to go straight up to the 19th floor. No stops.
Ding-a-ling! Doors finally open. 4 people get in. I wait in the lobby. I’m the only one left. Where I want to be. The next elevator can’t be long now. Straight shot to 19. Here comes someone. Yes! They work on my floor. Ding-a-ling! Christ it’s here! We both get in. Rapid fire button pushing. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close. Door Close.
Turn to my co-worker in a relaxed voice, “Didn’t want to take the local.”
“Yeah, me neither.” she says.
Phew. Smooth sailing. We pass 15. What a great day. Pass 16. Three more floors. Did you know laughter helps relieve the effects of depression? That’s what the video screen in the elevator tells me. Ding-a-ling!
What the?
The door opens on 17. Guy walks in and pushes the button for 18.
It’s gonna be a long day.
Here’s a new one. This morning I got an elevator all by myself. I was ecstatic! In my ecstaticity I hit the button for 18 instead of 19. Gonna be a week.