Evidently, Earth Day is not just about the environment, it’s about giving too! As part of Earth Day celebrations on Wednesday, the Republic of Venezuela has announced that it is giving AN ISLAND to New Jersey. An entire frickin’ island. The 300-acre Petty’s Island, located in the Delaware River, claims two Bald Eagles as its prime inhabitants, along with a few other species of endangered birds and probably some spiders. The transfer will occur after 2020, but Hugo Chavez and co. wanted to seize the opportunity and make the announcement now. Way to go Jersey!

That was awfully nice of Venezuela. Bypassing that whole country thing and going right to the state level. Just think of what Jersey could do with all that new Shore-front property. All the sunglasses huts…. All the tanning salons…. All the new clubs…. The local economy is going to explode!

If those Venezuelans were trying to impress us and steal our hearts. They did a good job. Thank you.

Go on down to Douchebag Beach