Last week, I ate scrapple. Scrapple is not what you think it is. Unless you already know what is it. I can tell you it has nothing to do with apples. Or spelling games. Scrapple is pig scraps. Basically, ground up left over pig parts, formed into a loaf, pan-fried until brown, and fed to you. What parts could possibly be in there? They leave that fairly ambiguous. The package reads, “May contain pigs’ head, liver, heart, snout, feet, tongue, and other pork trimmings.” This is enough to make any stomach quiver. But if I’m going to eat blowfish, owl, and panda, I had to forge ahead with snout. Scrapple has history, man. According to Wikipedia, Scrapple is arguably the first “pork food” invented in America. How bad could it be? It’s breakfast meat. Name me one bad breakfast meat. Can’t be done.

That scrapple was greased up, fried up, and served with my eggs. Let me tell you something – It wasn’t that bad. I felt myself getting fatter and pinker though. Have you ever felt your arteries clogging? I could actually feel my arteries attempting to work and failing. It’s no wonder this country has an obesity problem if we’re inventing shit like this. Scrapple is like corn bread except replace the corn with ‘meat’. It breaks apart fairly easily. If it weren’t fried, it would just be tiny ground up meat and spices. Yes, it was edible. No I will never have it again. It makes me wonder though if eating that many miscellaneous pig parts is good immunization against swine flu. I suspect yes. Afraid of needles? Eat scrapple.