The Toilet Seat Gap

Why are public bathrooms the only place you’ll find toilets that feature the toilet seat gap? I’d like one for my home. Though I don’t quite understand the benefit of the gap- assuming it’s so my pee pee doesn’t touch the seat- I know I want it. But as I went about looking for a replacement toilet seat for my own little boy’s room, I stumbled upon something else. Something wonderful.

I’ve often spoken about “Recycled Butt Heat” (RBH). Yes, I really have spoken about “Recycled Butt Heat”, often. That unpleasant surprise you get when you settle down on a public toilet and realize it’s warm. Someone has done their business here. And recently! You’ve just recycled that butt heat. The Irony of RBH is that you are fully aware multiple asses have probably parked on that seat today. However, as long as that seat is cool to the touch, you turn a blind anus.

Oddly enough, a warm seat after a hot shower is also disgusting. Giving credence to the notion that maybe its not just the thought of someone else’s ass that is so oft-putting, but rather, a toilet seat should not be warm under any circumstances.

In my quest for the Toilet Seat Gap, I found something far greater. A happy accident. Behold the Thermochromatic Toilet Seat. A seat (with a gap) that changes color with heat. Yep. Hypercolor for your bum. A change in color should notify the user to: “Hold up- take a lap and come back. Someone was just here and this seat is warm as hell.” You’ll take comfort in knowing that that pew is ready to be prayed on without the shock of RBH.

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