Today in the mail I got some unsolicited literature from the New York City Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Presumably they were asking for a donation toward cancer research. In a little window was a shiny nickel with a caption that read, “How can 5¢ save a child’s life?” Oh that’s a nice touch.

Now, scale of 1 to 10, how horrible of a person am I for tearing open that envelope, pocketing the nickel, and throwing out the spam? I mean, I didn’t read any of it. Right in the garbage. It felt strange to thow out a nickel though. A penny maybe. I could buy some Bazooka Joe with a nickel.

I’m not sure they thought this one through. I wonder why they didn’t just keep that nickel and put it towards saving a child’s life? Seems a bit counter-productive. How many children had to die for this mailing campaign? I knew without having to read anything on the inside of that envelope that that caption was probably not true and I’ll spend my nickels on bubblegum.

Please donate to your local Leukemia & Lymphoma Society today.