Seven Dwarfs

Just whistle while you work
And cheerfully together we can tidy up the place
So hum a merry tune
It won’t take long when there’s a song to help you set the pace

There’s this guy at work who is constantly whistling. Non-stop. He walks around all day with a too-jolly smirk and a too-jolly strut as he whistles the same indecipherable tune. I get Doppler Effect whistling so its always clear when he’s approaching or on the other side of the floor. This has been going on for a few months now. Did this fucker win the lottery or something? And if so, was it scratch-off or the numbers?

There is a lot of cattiness in my office. People complain about it to each other all the time. Everyone is aware of the whistling and everyone is annoyed by it, but no one will say anything. Alright I take that back… Someone did say something once. But it was said in this really passive aggressive way that completely failed. The guy just laughed and continued on. Whistling.

The problem is that we all really like the guy. There are no other complaints. All told, he seems pretty cool. He is going through a divorce and maybe this is a way of dealing with it. Or maybe he’s so happy about it that he wants to whistle. There’s nothing inherently wrong with people being happy at work. It just makes the pissed off people a little more pissed off. Don’t worry though, those people are always like that and generally never boil over. The point is, it’s become a thing. He’s the whistling guy at work. And no one will tell him.

Whistle while you work.

Today, I went to the men’s room to wash my hands before eating lunch. As I opened the door, the bathroom was empty except for that one occupied stall. And the guy inside. Sitting down. Whistling away.

“That is hilarious.” I said out loud. Washed my hands and left.

I’m not the one telling him.

Leave a Reply