Category Archives: Blog

rambling…

Spaced

I’m guilty. I just read this article on Slate. In it, they come down… hard… on people who put two spaces after a period. I’m a major offender of this. This is how I was taught to type. Even now, knowing it’s wrong, I’m still double tapping that spacebar after a sentence. I can’t help myself. It’s burned into my mind. I have no idea how I’m going to correct this.

I blame Mr. Egan. He is the man responsible for teaching me how to type in 6th grade. Blame must fall to him. He should have known that these new things called “computers” were different than typewriters. How was I to know? All I knew is that Emily wouldn’t look at me because I had a mouth full of braces. (I even fought Lee for you, Emily.) I had no time back then to research typography, proportional typesettings, and the like. Look, I know teachers are shaping young minds and they do a thankless job. But come on man, you fucked me up good Mr. E. Think of all the unnecessary movements of the thumb I’ve made throughout my life. It must measure in the hundreds of thousands. Can you get Carpal Tunnel Syndrom in just your thumb?

It’s even worse now. When you’re typing on the iPhone, a double tap of the spacebar creates a period and a single space in whatever you’re writing. So I find myself TRIPLE tapping the spacebar just to get that extra space in there. When I’m doing a quick edit of my writing, one of the things I’ll do is MAKE SURE there are two spaces between sentences. I am beyond reproach. A glass of whiskey can mask the pain, but it can’t make it heal. That’s going to take a deep look inside.

Kids, save yourself from the embarrassment of putting two spaces between sentences. And for god’s sake, save your thumb.

3D: Finally Not worth it

You thought this was going to be a post about how the current 3D craze is too much. The proliferation of 3D movies has reached ridiculous levels and I’m yearning for the good ol’ days of flatties.

Not so. I love 3D. As long as it’s done well and not as a marketing afterthought, I’m all for it.

However, this French fellow has apparently discovered a way to watch movies in 3D without glasses. His solution? Attach electrodes to the side of your face that make your eyelids blink rapidly and uncontrollably. I shit you not. Watch the below video. It’s pretty disgusting. And creepy. The only thing that saves it is his smooth French accent.

The jury is out as to whether this is real or not. The video seems a little too produced. And I suspect few people will have the balls to actually try to confirm it. I’ll take my blue and red cardboard glasses over this any day.

Pinch Me

This was featured on Gizmodo a few months ago. Just found it in my bookmarks and figured I’d share in case you missed it.

Two things are very apparent when watching this. Everything looks spellbinding in time lapse… including monster trucks? And everything looks even better when a loud, foreboding soundtrack goes along with it. The incredible song here is called Dream Is Collapsing by Hans Zimmer and was featured in Inception. I only worry that this song will take off like a similar track from Sunshine. That song is Adagio in D Minor by John Murphy and is now featured in absolutely anything that requires an intensely building and dramatic score. Click here to listen. I know you know it. It’s one of the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard, but is currently being over-used to the point of cliche`.

The monster trucks kind of bring it down a notch for me, but I’ll excuse them because the landscape shots are mind-bending. Enjoy.

Overheard in New York

I’ve always loved the concept of Overheard in New York. I believe it’s one of the perfect uses for the internet. A year or two ago, I submitted something I’d overheard in an elevator which I thought was hilarious. With little fanfare, it was featured in one of their daily additions. Here’s what I overheard:

Friend in elevator showing old photos from Rome: There’s the Colosseum. You know. Where the lions and the Catholics had their thing.

And here it is on their site:
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021817.html

Thought Bubble 23

PC got one thing right. They call it the ‘Recycling Bin’ whereas Macs call it the ‘Trash’.

Not only is Microsoft encouraging a greener lifestyle naming it this way, but it’s far more accurate. You’re simply recycling that disk space.

Comics and Greek Mythology

Are comic books really that far off from Greek mythology? Greek mythology was a religion. Ancient Greeks perceived these characters as not some form of entertainment, but actual gods. In essence though, they were fantastical stories featuring characters with super powers. Poseidon, who was always my favorite, was essentially Aquaman, whom I don’t particularly care for. Zeus was pretty much Superman.

As with all religions, these stories were written as a form of control. And to a lesser extent, a way to explain the mysteries of the world. Modern comic books are written for entertainment, and to a larger extent, money. Both DC and Marvel have both heavily borrowed from Greek mythology. So is the intended purpose the only difference between these two?

Advanced Food Service

This place is the tits.Working during the week between Christmas and New Years, at least for me, means cleaning out files and long lunches. During one such lunch, a few collegues and I went around the corner to FoodParc. FoodParc is the future of lunch dining. Quick, easy, and pretty much self-servicing.

You walk into the restaurant (err cafeteria) to find a bright and sterilized atmosphere. White and neon. Like the Korova Milk Bar from A Clockwork Orange. Minus the nude statues and LSD. A human greeter points you to the computer kiosks where you order your food. On the touch screens you are given a choice of several cuisines with the option to highly customize each one. When you are satisfied, slide your credit card through and take your ticket. While it’s unclear whether or not they actually take cash here, it’s definitely frowned upon. A welcome policy. Cash is clumsy, slow, and unsecured. Let’s embrace credits people.

With ticket in hand, you wait at the designated location for your meal to be prepared. A human behind the counter calls your number and gives you your lunch. No waiters. No tipping. A quick turnaround. I am a bit conflicted by this. On one hand, I’m a friend to the waiter/waitress. I’ve been in the trenches. I know what it’s like to deal with the dregs of the Earth while you’re finding your way. At the same time… not having to deal with a cranky post-graduate lazy bastard who would rather be smoking weed then waiting on you is welcome. Or worse, dealing with an overly bubbly and scripted automaton that has been drinking the company kool-aid and revels in his/her flair. Either way, there’s really no sure technique for figuring out which one will spit in your food, so better to take them out of the equation altogether.

There is ample seating for you and your friends to sit down and enjoy your lunch. When you’re done, leave it on the table. A human busboy will take care of it.

None of this is especially groundbreaking. You can find self-order kiosks at Quick Chek. But I do appreciate the way in which FoodParc has organized it. A nifty, interestingly-designed restaurant. An intuitive traffic pattern. And food that is decidedly not bad. The food is cheap. Probably savings passed on by not hiring workers in a recession. The way I see it, you have to start somewhere. If we are indeed going to live in an advanced society, we are going to need advanced food service.

Are We Alone?

Are we alone?? Really? What a pointless question to ask. Of course we’re not alone. Look at the numbers. How is that even mathematically possible? It’s an antiquated question from a time when we didn’t quite fully grasp the universe around us. This is not to say that we grasp it now… far from it. But we’re certainly much farther along on that journey. To quote Sagan, for intelligence to have arisen on only one little ball of iron would be “an awful waste of space.”

But the numbers are beside the point. It is a loaded question. Even if we are alone, how are we ever going to satisfy that? Sure, this generation and many more that follow it will probably die not having a definitive answer. But that doesn’t mean it’s an answer. Simply put, the answer can never be “Yes, yes we are Greg.” No one will ever be content with a yes to this question. They’ll always be looking for little green men. So to contradict myself, the definitive answer is “No, dingbat. Stop asking.”

The question becomes, “Why would we be alone?” And that is a condescendingly rhetorical question.

Let It Be, please

This is cringe-worthy and hilarious all at the same time. Apparently, to promote it’s fourth season, Norwegian talk show Gylne Tider created this promo of D-List celebrities singing a borderline Muzak version of “Let It Be”- “We Are The World”-style. The cheese and randomness factors are through the roof on this one. What is unclear is whether or not they are being ironic or simply believe in the power of celebrity so blindly that they’re willing to put this many once-names into a promo for a current show. (I also submit that there is the possibility that Gylne Tider is actually a show about D-List celebrities from the 80′s and 90′s)

Love seeing Robert Englund make an appearance. Three cheers for Lou Ferrigno and Berlin too!