With my beloved tree lying lifeless on the curb, today was the first day back to the real world. Or at least it should have been. But last night, as I prepared myself for a new year at work, I heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway of my apartment building. Heavy footsteps. Lots of them. I opened the door to see what was the matter and find attached to those footsteps are 6 or 7 Firemen. They move past my door to the floor above with gas masks and oxygen tanks in tow. Clumsily bumping into the hallway walls with their bulky equipment. My next door neighbor has come to her door to check out what is going on.

When they come back down, they explain a carbon monoxide detector was going off upstairs. They turned off the gas to the apartment. We’re all safe. Rest easy.

That is… until the gas company shows up.

About 45 minutes later, the gas guy, or a gentleman whom is a master of the gaseous arts, knocks on my door. With his gas sniffing doo-hicky… “Hello.” It instantly beeps.

He says, “Oh, it’s coming from this apartment.”

As he walks towards my bedroom the thing in his hand goes off like it’s had a pair of Red Bull Vodkas.

“It’s coming from YOUR boiler.”

He goes to my water heater which resides in a room inside my closet. (I call this my Panic Room.) He discovers the flu which vents carbon monoxide to the outside, has rotted away. -Rotted away- CO rises and it was rising right into my neighbor’s apartment upstairs.

“That guy was lucky. That CO detector saved his life. He would have died tonight.”

Cozy.

How, you ask, has my water heater come to such disrepair? I have no fucking clue. But I know that I was almost responsible, at least in part, for killing the nice gentleman who lives above me. I’ve had the building maintenance guy and the gas company here on a number of occasions regarding the smell of gas. (The most recent being New Year’s Eve!) No one seemed to take notice of my rotting water heater. It makes me angry.

I’ve made several resolutions this year. The standard eat right, do more exercise one of them. However today I’ve decided that in the new year… I’d like to savor more. I’m so quick to consume that I’ve forgotten how to really enjoy a moment. It is a resolution that is infinitely scalable whether it be a book I’m reading, food I’m eating, or the smile on her face. I feel this has the potential to improve my existence more than anything else this year.

Here’s to a fresh start. Happy New Year.

Well things can’t stay as jolly as this forever and when it was time to sell the house, so it was time to put the reindeer to sleep. I’ve been sitting on these pictures for a few years now. Never sure if it was in bad taste to post such horrific carnage in plain sight. There could be kids watching! Nevertheless, I’ve decided to display this morbid scene to the world as a reminder to cherish those wonderful little memories you have of the Christmas season.

Because one day your parents will move and throw it all out in one quick trip to the curb.

Merry Christmas… dead reindeer.

What this really means is that I have 292 acquaintances and 8 friends.

Every year, after waking up from the turkey-induced coma, I start listening to my standard Xmas tunes. And every year I’m introduced to new awesome songs. In that tradition, I’ve compiled a list of ‘10 Christmas Songs for ‘08′. Here are 10 songs I’ve been listening to this year and maybe some you haven’t been. Hope you like.

Don’t Shoot Me Santa - The Killers
A great rock song with some Killer guitar tone. The odd verse which places Santa in a desert with a midwestern accent really sells its for me. This puppy packs a chorus you’ll be singing until Obama-day.

Just Like Christmas - Low
A moody, rolling number that sounds incredible. Especially if you’re sitting by a tree decorated with blue lights.

Father Christmas - The Kinks
This one is just an all-out rocker. It tells the tale of a gang of hooligans who beat up a department store Santa and demand cash. That’s the spirit! Take that Ramones!

Get Behind Me, Santa! - Sufjan Stevens
Typical Sufjan awesomeness. It really starts to cook towards the end. Especially that Christmas cheer. C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S What’s that spell? Christmas!

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2
One of my favorite songs ever. I listen to this one all year round. This was recorded at a sound check in the mid 80’s and subsequently released. The Edge’s guitar sounds amazing and harkens back to A Christmas Story times. This is where Bono actually started singing instead of protesting. The first and still the best cover of this song and I’m sure you’ve all heard it.

Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
It’s no wonder The King conquered Christmas as well. His Blue Christmas record is a staple at the Miabi household and my favorite song is the title track. This is a true Christmas love song. Click the link above to see a live version of him playing it with Martina McBride during the legendary ‘68 Comeback Special.

Let Me Sleep (Christmas Time) - Pearl Jam
This was a song PJ released exclusively to their fan club in like ‘91/’92. I personally have it on vinyl because…. I was a member of the Ten Club. Suck it! The boys sound great with their bongos and their flannels and their angst.

2000 Miles - The Pretenders
One of my all time favorite Christmas songs. Haunting. Beautiful. I’m not even sure this is a Christmas song because it seems to forgo most of the conventions, but Chrissie Hynde sounds so good here. And the refrain says, “It felt like Christmas time.” Check out the link for an awesome live version.

A Christmas Duel - The Hives & Cyndi Lauper
In the great tradition of Xmas duets, here’s one that was released this year. The Hives and a girl that just want’s to have fun totally rock out about being bad all year. Cyndi wants to go down on somebody… So freakin’ awesome. For me, this one has gotten the most spins this year.

Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy - Bing Crosby & David Bowie
Sure the song is great, but no Christmas would be complete without seeing the VIDEO for one of the coolest and strangest duets of all time. Bowie stops by Bing Crosby’s place to sing this little ditty. You need to see it to believe it! In fact, I think I prefer the pre-song banter in the video more than the song itself. Enjoy.

You see, Kelly and hellodarling have filled three floors of storefront with balloons. Lots and lots of balloons. The project was comissioned by Somerset Partners, the people who own the building. They had 33,000 sqft of retail space that was sitting empty and they wanted to do something fun with it.

Donning my press cap, and in my best James Cagney voice, I asked Kelly if there was any ulterior motive to the balloons. You know, like peace in the Middle East. A plea to solve the energy crisis? Design firms against reality tv?

“No. Its soley for the public’s enjoyment. We wanted to do something that appealed to everyone, of every age, in every language. Who doesn’t love balloons? Especially over 10,000 of them.”

Fair enough. Are you reading from a script?

“I’m a copywriter, this stuff flows from my mouth. By the way, I still have no idea what this is for…”

I’m just posting a blog entry. I wanted to give you kudos. Geez.

“Thanks Gregory. Kiss a Bridezilla for me.”

I found this great picture at IndividualEye. It gives you an idea of what to expect without spoiling it. If you want to see it, get your ass down there right now. It’s at 450 Park on the corner of 57th. NYC.

Be careful!

I really hope that Al has Bam’s ear and that he’s receptive to environment and climate issues. It’s no longer something our kids are going to have to deal with. We’re dealing with it right now. Please take steps to lower your carbon footprint people. Though this website can often come off as apathetic, this is something I truly believe in.

Excelsior!

I don’t know when I’ll see snow again.

www.faceinhole.com

Happy…. Holidays.