Watch the true and animated story of MLB pitcher Dock Ellis‘ 1970 no-no on LSD.
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I’ve always loved the idea of Jack Kerouac. The beatnik traveler. Chronicler of stuff. “Hey, Jack Kerouac” is my favorite 10,000 Maniacs song. Beat that! When I moved to Colorado after college, you know, to sow my wild oats, I decided to read On The Road. Seemed like a perfect fit. Neal Cassady, Greg Granito. I wanted to be a writer and this seemed like a good start. There was one problem. I didn’t find it all that interesting. I tried several times to get on the On The Road road, but it never worked. I just didn’t like the book.
Nevertheless, this didn’t change my opinion of Jack Kerouac, the man. I still found him interesting. But I’d forgotten about him. A couple of weeks ago I ran into a guy at a BBQ joint who was Allen Ginsburg’s assistant. Jack’s old pal. It got me thinking about On The Road and finally finishing it. Maybe I didn’t understand it at the time. Maybe I just wanted to read books about sentient robots and wormholes.
And then I read this article in the New York Times. Turns out Jack Kerouac was into baseball. Fantasy baseball. He used to have an entire league of his own design rifling through his brain. This solidified something I already knew. Jack Kerouac would have loved being in my Yahoo! Sports Fantasy Baseball League. And that I dig.
Lets finish On The Road together.
I’m sick and tired of all the steroids talk, records talk, Hall of Fame talk. The A-Rod doping story quickly reached critical mass and baseball season is still a month and a half away. Interminable debate on talk radio and the interwebs regarding validity of records or A-Rod’s true Hall of Fame credentials is nauseating and distracting.
The Hall of Fame should lionize Baseball, not statistics. While it represents the Great Ones that statistics have already weeded out, it should also pay homage to those that have greatly impacted the game. It should not be a tomb to morality, but a celebration of a game that people love. Cheaters never prosper. I don’t need sports to tell me that. My mother did when I was very little.
Shoeless Joe, Pete Rose, Mark McGwire. These guys deserve to be in the Hall because of how they impacted the game.
Joe Jackson was the finest pure hitter of his generation, possibly all-time. A Pre-Babe superstar. Pete Rose played his guts out day after night and managed to scrounge out more hits than anyone who’s ever played the game. Mark McGwire electrified an entire country during one magical summer and brought Baseball back to prominence.
These guys deserve to be honored by The Hall of Fame because of what they did for the game’s fans. The game’s real estate in our hearts. Yes they have flaws and we should acknowledge those flaws. But let history shower scorn on those that damaged the integrity of the game. Hell, give it its own section on the Wikipedia page. We still loved them when they played Baseball. We were still awed by their skill. I think its important to not forget them.
There are several others I feel belong in the Hall and among those is A-Rod. Shit, If A-Rod were to retire tomorrow he should be in the Hall of Fame.
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You see… I’m in this duo. We come together like once a year and write songs. Usually drunk. Usually sitting in front of a TV with the ballgame on. Or on the beach at the Jersey Shore. This supergroup consists of Mike Fitzpatrick and I (Greg Granito). Our first record is called The Catacombs of Herald Square. Most of our songs seem to end up being about baseball or video games. We’ve been compared to Wham! or Evan and Jaron. (Actually we haven’t, but would that be so bad?) General goofiness ensues.
Here are three cuts off of Catacombs. With lyrics. All songs written by Fitz & Greg. Right click, download, and enjoy.
—
“Blue Controller” (2005)
How do you juke in this game, Shane?
Blue Controller… doesn’t work.
Yes it does, yes it’s just because you suck.
Blue Controller does not work.
Shane Shane Shane Shane Shane
Fitz Fitz, sucks
Fitz Fitz sucks
Fitz sucks
—
“Teixeira” (2005)
Jeff Logan, is not as good as Teixeira
Rafeal Palmeiro, not as bad as Teixeira
What about Jose Reyes?
uh huh he’s fast, not as fast as Teixeira
and Tad Iguchi?
he plays less positions than Teixeira
What about Vladimir Guerrero, he’s good…
but he can’t throw as far as Teixeira!
Brass Crab!!
Chad Kaskaiden?, habbit nebbbit stap dat dat dat Teixeira
—
“D-Wright” (2007)
D-Wright
D-Wright
can i have your number?
D-Wright
oh so right
how was BP?
D-Wright
your swing is tight
i think i hear thunder
D-Wright
we should hang out tonight?
oh please, call me
you’re the new Jeet
you’re the next Jeet
you’re the Jeet Jeet
HoJo
don’t you know?
just leave what’s perfect
Ricky H
he stole a base
leave his speed alone
Peterson
ever talk to him?
I can see why you would
Willy
he’s your prodigy
yeah it’s a lot of meat!
Ok, the baseball season is officially over for the New York Yankees. They’ve missed the playoffs for the first time in 13 years, blah blah blah. But this doesn’t tell the whole story. The Bronx Bombers haven’t been the same since October 2004. We all know what happened then.
I submit that we need to bring back The Bronx Zoo. The Joe Torre era is over. It’s time to put some fire into these overpaid ding-dongs. Joe Girardi tried to do that this year with little success. His demeanor with the Marlins two years ago was staunchly different than it was with the Yankees this year. He’s managing for a storied franchise. Replacing the phlegmatic Torre. He’s trying to manage people who in some cases are older than him. In other cases are ex-teammates. Where in Florida he had the young players’ ears… Here he’s got a bunch of gigantic egos to coordinate.
I don’t know how Jeter acts in the clubhouse. His personality in interviews however doesn’t lead me to believe he’s stirring anything up in there. He was brought up by Joe Torre. That’s not how he acts. I’m sure they all believe that they’re all highly paid professionals and that they should be able to self-motivate at will. But it just hasn’t happened in the past 4 years. Do you ever watch A-Rod in post-game interviews? It’s like he’s channeling Torre. Same exact mannerisms and all. A-Rod was at his best last year when he stopped caring what people said or thought about him and started playing baseball again.
Hank, you want to stay older? Bring back Sheffield. He’ll help create a zoo atmosphere. Re-sign Giambi. He and Captain Caveman are the only two people on the team that seem to make the clubhouse fun. I know Giambino likes to play the field, but he’s proven to be a liability. He’d make a terrific DH when you sign Teixeira this winter. I’m sure you’re gonna go after CC this offseason as well. It looks like he’s got some fire in him. And he wears his hat just like Joba! Go for it. Here’s another idea… Sign Milton Bradley. He’s coming off of a terrific season, and no one creates tension like Mr. Bradley. As much as I truly love Matsui, he’s getting old. Trade him and put Bradley in right.
Hank, you need to let Girardi know it’s time to get pissed. Get in the players’ faces. Your father was a master at doing this through the sports media. You have failed miserably this year. You need to study baseball this offseason my man. Maybe hire a writer for your personal staff. Your comments to the media have only made YOU look bad. Really bad. The Yankees are all about drama and the only drama we had this year was Giambi’s leopard underwear and your dumb comments.
This team needs to get angry.
Roooooarrrr!
In honor of the final game being played tonight at the old Yankee Stadium, I present to you every single time Larry David appeared on Seinfeld as the voice of George Steinbrenner. As compiled by me.
Hurry up and watch it before someone takes it down. That is, if you’ve got 20 minutes to spare.
I wanted to talk about Hulu for a second. I absolutely love this site. I’ve considered canceling my cable many times in the past because I don’t really watch TV anymore. Then came Hulu. Now I definitely don’t watch TV anymore. I Hulu.
Hulu’s been around for nearly a year now. I jumped aboard when I first heard about it. Deciding to give it a chance even though many, many, many sites have come and gone with the same principle. But Hulu has the power of General Electric behind it. And that is a power not to be taken lightly.
It first started, when I was catching up with 30 Rock. I won’t discuss the joys of having Liz Lemon at your fingertips because that is plainly obvious. Then I started watching a few movies on the site that I’d never seen before. Eight Men Out was a movie I’d always wanted to see but never got around to it. Glad I finally did. Say it ain’t so, Joe.
But, the real beauty of Hulu is that it has enabled me to check out show’s I’d heard of but never would have seen. For example, Firefly. Firefly is an awesome Sci-Fi/Western created by Joss Whedon. Though, I’d never really been into Joss Whedon’s other stuff, I absolutely became attached to this show. It even gives Battlestar a run for best Sci-Fi show ever. (-end geek) The characters are excellent and the show itself is both hilarious and thrilling at the same time. Since it was canceled after only 14 episodes, I managed to watch the entire series in just a few days. Then rented the movie Serenity. It’s times like this that you wish you hadn’t been so eager to consume. Now I have no more Firefly to enjoy. I already miss it. But because of Hulu, I can easily watch the show again and again. Jewel Saite is cute on levels approaching Jenna Fischer-ian.
Last year, I bought the pilot episode of Miami Vice from iTunes. The pilot is really a feature length movie and I thought it was a great piece of machismo escapism. And by all accounts ground breaking at the time, if a bit dated now. I watched this show as a kid, but can honestly say I never really got it then. The only thing I really remember is the sexy opening title sequence with that sweet sweet Jan Hammer Miami Vice theme. What have I discovered now because of Hulu? This is the sweatiest show I’ve ever seen. Shit, Crockett and Tubbs have sweat stains on their pastel-colored suits in nearly every scene. Can we get wardrobe in here? This show personifies the 80′s as much as Madonna writhing around in a wedding dress does. The writing does seem to hold up though, and I’ve been enjoying the first few episodes.
So trust me. Sign up for Hulu if you haven’t. It’s free.
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Watching the 2008 All-Star pregame spectacle at Yankee Stadium was something else. If you’re anything like me, you find these kinds of moments both exciting and cringe-worthy. It was amazing to see all of these baseball legends together in one place. It was even great to see Big Stein roll in on his golf cart. It looks like The Boss had a stroke, but I don’t know what the going story actually is. I’ve always liked Steinbrenner for his devotion to the Yankees and this was a fitting send-off.
But with all those different team affiliations, decrepit old men, and giant egos in one place under the hot Bronx lights, you get the feeling something might go wrong.
Luckily, aside from the general pacing of this thing, (the damn game didn’t get started until 9pm-ish) it pretty much went off without any problem. Nothing really viral-worthy. Except for the mistreatment of Hank Aaron.
For anyone who didn’t watch this parade, here’s how the ceremony went:
They went around the diamond with Joe Buck announcing every still breathing hall-of-famer at each position, as only Joe Buck can. There were a couple of huge names and the well-educated Yankees crowd gave them their due.
When Joe Buck got to center field they went through the names and then he said something to the effect of this….
“And now… (dramatic pause)….. one of the true giants of the game. (It’s a pun!) Willy………………(dramatic pause)….. Mays!”
The crowd goes wild
cut to CU of The Say Hey Kid
cut to crowd going bananas
cut to CU of The Say Hey Kid
and so on.
This goes on for a minute or two.
Then, Joe Buck begins to announce the right fielders. As he’s going down the list it goes something like this…..
“Tony Gwynn…”
“Al Kaline…”
“Hank Aaron…”
“Reggie….. Jackson…”
cut to crowd chanting “Reg-gie” “Reg-gie”
cut to CU of Reggie’s ego
cut to crowd cheering
cut to CU of Mr. October
Ok, I understand that we’re in Yankee Stadium, and they want to leverage the crowd by throwing a Yankee great out there at the end. But how about something special for Hammerin’ Hank? I mean come on. They just went right by him! This man is another one of the true giants of the game. Could they not come up with a clever pun or something? Let me try…
“And now….. (dramatic pause)…. one of the bravest men to pick up the lumber……. (dramatic pause)…. Henry…..”Hank”….. Aaron.”
For goodness sake… he was the home run king for 33 years. And many people believe he still is! I grew up believing he was some sort of god. I didn’t think he was real. It’s Hank Aaron. Give the man a little more respect than that. Is it because we’re in the house that Ruth built and we are still bitter that he broke Babe’s record? That simply can’t be.
I don’t know if MLB produced this thing or if it was solely done by FOX, but someone needs to apologize to Mr. Aaron. I’ve got a feeling it’s FOX because I don’t think Major League Baseball would suddenly forget one of it’s greatest living legends. Someone should be ashamed. How soon we forget the man. And I’m sure, somewhere, Barry Bonds is pissed too.
Stepping off soapbox now.
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A few years ago I was waiting tables in Short Hills, New Jersey. One afternoon I had the pleasure of serving Phil Rizzuto and his wife Cora. He lived in the area and I’d heard he’d come in before. All he wanted was a burger and ice cream. He explained to me that he loved our burgers. And prepared me way in advance that he’d be asking for the ice cream. I managed to get over being star struck long enough to tell him I was Italian and he asked where my family was from. We talked about it for a few moments, but as always in those situations, I had nothing good to say and managed to run and hide. He loved the hamburger and ice cream. When he asked for seconds on the ice cream I laughed and told him it was on the house. He was a handsome fella and Cora was very beautiful. A real gentleman.
Scooter passed away yesterday. It was a sad day as a Yankee fan, baseball fan, Italian, and human. But it was tough to really get upset about it. This guy was always enjoying himself and had an incredible sense of humor. He kept everything light. And he had one hell of a life.
This is as sentimental as Miabi Films will get. RIP Scooter.
If you have a half hour, you should really check out his Hall of Fame induction speech. It’s great.
Read MoreA vodcast only Miabi Film! This video arose from a conversation a friend and I had at a bar. We were discussing the fielding pyro-technics of the exceptional baseball player Eric Byrnes from the Arizona Diamondbacks. Byrnesy is one of my favorite players because he risks life and limb on every catch. His complete disregard for personal safety is infectious and its a miracle none of his teammates have killed themselves trying to imitate him. He’s no slouch at the plate either. Anyway, this is my tribute to Eric Byrnes. It’s amazing what booze and Photoshop can do.
iPod/iPhone version. Right click to download. 1.8 mb