Apparently some dolphins in a tank at Sea World started creating these incredible bubble rings from their blow holes. Not just a series of tiny bubbles that may resemble a ring, but a singular torus-like bubble that writhes in the water. Kind of like how a smoker creates a nifty smoke ring- only the dolphins can play with it, pass it along, and generally have a blast. What’s really interesting is that at first only a few of them knew how to do it, but those early trailblazers managed to teach the behavior to their dolphin brethren, and it appears as though most of them in that tank are now participating.

If only a few dolphins could figure out how to clean up oil and teach it to their pals, we might be saved.

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Today, the hole has stopped growing. And people have stopped talking about it. It kind of gets all wrapped up with that whole global warming thing. Though the ozone layer above the South Pole is still considered “thinner than it should be”, we seem to be in the clear.

Sure awareness and regulation may have helped stabilize the situation. But I submit that it was another event that had an ever greater impact. In September of 1991, Nirvana released Nevermind. Single handedly eradicating hair bands and your ozone problem in one fell swoop. Nevermind was a death knell to Big Hairspray and changed our opinions on what was cool and acceptable. And it was cool to care man.

In addition, I posture that the release of Bio-Dome in ’96 plays into this, but I haven’t figured out why or how yet.

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http://www.myearthhour.org/

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I had stepped out for a hot lunch, some sunlight, and an hour of much needed me time. Getting back to work, a woman was coming the other way as I was re-entering the building. I saw her through the glass, thought I could make it, and went for it. Smash. I got slammed between the partition and the side of the revolving door enclosure. It didn’t hurt, but it sure looked foolish. Like something akin to when the Coyote fails to catch the Roadrunner. Years of living dangerously flashed before my eyes. I’ve had near-misses before, some a little too close. But every time I prevailed. Seamlessly entering the building as someone else was leaving. Kind of pretty actually. A time-tested apparatus of civil engineering. Not today though. The woman who squashed me felt bad too. She apparently did not see the little dilemma that was going on in my head prior to our encounter. The contemplation. Should I attempt this? She smiled and gave me a sincere “I’m so sorry”; muffled from the other side of the glass.

To which I smiled back with a wave and said, “My fault.”

Will this effect my carefree attitude toward revolving doors? Will this make me stop and think twice before attempting a stunt like this again. Highly doubtful. I’ve got places to be man. This is New York City. I can’t wait for people. I just wish this was a metaphorical revolving door we were talking about. But alas it is not. I really got crushed by a door.

Speaking of revolving doors, I’ve been talking about this for years. Put a generator at the top of a rotating door to create energy every time someone walks through it. Seems like a no-brainer to me. Well someone finally did it.

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Since we live in a world where Sly is merely an actor and not a super-cop, unfrozen through time to rid the world of Wesley Snipes, I guess we look to the bidet. A water fountain for your anus. How effective is this contraption at cleaning house? Can bidets be more than just an occasional luxury? Why aren’t more people using this green tech?

Bidets are exotic to most Americans, but a common fixture around the world. Though generally seen as a European indulgence, Koreans are into bidets too. In fact, they landed on combination toilet/bidets. These combo machines appear in approximately 60% of South Korean households. I’ve never heard a Korean complain either. I have to assume toilet/bidets are working just fine for their asses. And why not? A stream of water is exponentially more effective than dry paper. But without speaking to an honest to god Korean, I don’t know how it all goes down. If you’re Korean, please jump in. Do these exist in public spaces? You have to dry off… Are there public ass-towels in Korea? If we’re using paper towels to dry off, that would defeat the purpose of the bidet in the first place, so I can’t buy that. Maybe a motion-activated hair dryer for your fanny? A ha! Cool breeze of course.

I’ve done some research. Combo toilet/bidets go for about $3000 on the interwebs. Contrast that to an ordinary throne which goes for about $200. (This may be shocking to you as most of us never have to buy a toilet. Mostly a line-item on a contractor’s bill.) Clearly we have a price gap. What is driving the price of toilet/bidet combos up? I refuse to believe the higher price point is strictly due to manufacturing costs, but rather the perceived opulence of- what is essentially a water fountain for little people.

Perception is a very powerful barrier to entry. A distinct marketing problem. You will need the marketing power of an Apple, Inc. or a Nike to change people’s perception on latrines. Bidet’s are not just for the rich. OR just for the little people. Bidet’s are for your ass. The tech is centuries old and has current real world applications. Just do it.

There is a grander problem though; infrastructure. How do you get stubborn Americans to change the way they wipe their asses? No small task when dealing with a clique that, for all it’s marvels, is still surprisingly prude. Furthermore, how do you outfit bathrooms with a bidet when most are designed to only accommodate one porcelain appliance? This makes the combo toilet/bidet very appealing. Especially when more and more people are willing to pay a premium with the planet in mind. The less you inconvenience them the better. They already have monstrosities like the combo toilet/washing machine above. Why not an inconspicuous little bidet?

A change of considerable magnitude is going to have to take place in people’s minds if we are going to accept a cool and awkwardly refreshing rinse-off as a weapon against global warming.

Learn how to use a bidet.

Now if I can just convince America to switch to the metric system…

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Besides, for every individual view the video gets, DB will donate 10 cents to the Bergwaldprojekt e. V., which has worked for over 20 years preserving and protecting forests in Germany. A tree is a filter that gives us air. And forests have a lot of them.

Danke schön

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It has been a dubious 40 years for space travel. We are a far cry away from the glory of Apollo. Since Apollo 17 left the Moon in December of ’72, we have done nothing but poke around the celestial bushes. The shuttle program is a failed experiment that never delivered on it’s original promise. The International Space Station is a scaled down version of itself, that is not doing much more than what could have been achieved in the 70′s. The most visible success that has provided both scientific fulfillment and generated public interest is Hubble. And that’s just a flying telescope. Where are the people? Human space flight is what gets people GAGA for NASA.

There are many very good reasons why we should go back to Luna and establish a permanent manned presence there.

Here are a few:

1) Stoke the collective imagination again. Especially now. Get people excited. This country needs something to get behind. To show that we can do something “that is hard.”

2) Science! You can construct a radio telescope on the far side of the moon. Free from the radio interference of Earth, and the size of Texas. That’s big.

3) Practice for Mars. Test the technologies we’ll eventually use for missions to Mars. But test them in your backyard.

4) Abundant energy. They’ve got this thing on the Moon called Helium-3. You can find it in the lunar soil. Helium-3 is a fuel for nuclear fusion. Can’t really find the stuff on Earth. But it’s like, everywhere on the moon. The potential for clean and abundant energy, well I shouldn’t have to tell you why that’s good.

I know it’s a difficult time to make requests for weekend jaunts to the Moon. But lets hope the next 40 years aren’t as stagnate as the last. There is more technology in my iPhone than the Apollo astronauts had at their disposal and yet we’re still stuck. I can not and will not believe that the only reason we went to the Moon was to outdo the Russians. What about the human spirit to explore (and conquer?)

Lets go back faster, better, cheaper.

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That was awfully nice of Venezuela. Bypassing that whole country thing and going right to the state level. Just think of what Jersey could do with all that new Shore-front property. All the sunglasses huts…. All the tanning salons…. All the new clubs…. The local economy is going to explode!

If those Venezuelans were trying to impress us and steal our hearts. They did a good job. Thank you.

Go on down to Douchebag Beach

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