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Mind Grapes
This is how I eat grapes. There’s two ways:
One. I delicately bite off half the grape and admire the fruit on the inside.
Two. I stuff my mouth full of grapes, taking care to fill every nook and cranny. Then nosh away on a mouthful of grapes. -
Blog
Melon Balls
Why do melons taste better when they are balled? I know I’m eating the same cantaloupe whether it’s chopped, sliced, chunked, or balled. But for some reason I prefer cantaloupe in a perfectly round form. This goes for all melons. Honey Dew, Cantaloupe, Watermelon. It makes no difference. Shit, [more…]
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Blog
Shark Fin Tea
I really want one of these. Because of my crippling fear of sharks and my undying love of tea. Always looking for a good tea infuser or chrome dorsal fin.
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Blog
Salty and Sweet
I love salty and sweet like the next guy. But looking at this almost made me vomit. Over the line.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/yacomink/bacon-cinnamon-rolls-v
Bacon Cinnamon Rolls! -
Blog
Business up front, party in the back
We have reached the pinnacle of civilization. I knew this day would come. Didn’t think it would happen this soon or in this manner though.
Yes, I’m sure I’ve proclaimed this before, and will most likely do it again when they perfect teleportation. But I can unequivocally say at this very [more…] -
Blog
The Octodog
This is great. I would never claim to have seen it all, but I never expected something this fun was out there. It’s called an Octodog. This is a little machine that will turn a hot dog into an octopus. $17+S&H. Sign. Me. Up.
And just the other day I was [more…] -
Blog
Pineapple is for Pee
In my ongoing struggle to make this site about everything and nothing all at the same time, I want to relate a little story.
I was at the grocery store the other day and happened to spy the wonderous and alluring pineapple in question. After all, I usually buy a fruit cup every [more…] -
Blog
Had honey problems.
Had honey problems. Past tense. I’m here to report that my honey problems are over. And I am not a beekeeper or apiculturist. I am but a man.
I’ve tried the alternatives. At first there wasn’t any honey. I’d have to depend on the detritus downstairs to actually provide it. [more…] -
Blog
Everything Bagel
I bought an everything bagel for the first time in my life today. I could never understand these things. It always seemed like too much to put on a bagel. Too much… responsibility. Too many competing flavors. How can we as a society be so gluttonous as to request everything [more…]
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