M i a b i . F i l m s » writing

I before E

Greg — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 17:44:34 +0000

You had many friends. Many fans. Like Mrs. Rogers, a 2nd grade teacher at Riker Hill Elementary in Livingston, NJ, who once said, “Follow this rule, and you’ll be the next Shel Silverstein.”* We gather here today to pay tribute and respect to the “I before E, except after C” rule. Grammar police in the UK have decreed that you are “no longer worth teaching” because not enough words actually follow your lead.

Excuse me? Not enough words my arse. I recite this rule in my head a couple times a week and it never seems to fail me. Not enough words… Bupkis I say. I’m crying fowl. Foul I say! Fowel. Next you’re gonna say there’s an “I” in “Team”.

I was always under the impression that English was a funky language because it has all of these exceptions to the rules. The trick is learning those exceptions. Or, alternatively, letting your spell checker correct your spelling errors for you. The “I before E, except after C” rule is one of the best for the sole reason that many words DO follow it. Let’s not give up on it yet.

*I don’t believe she ever said that.

No related posts.

This book

Greg — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 13:08:43 +0000

I wonder what chapter you’re on today. You haven’t been reading at night. It’s obvious from the proportions of paper between your fingers. It could be the same chapter as yesterday. Maybe stayed late at work last night? You don’t strike me as someone who works without regard for leisure. Though I’ve never read the book, it’s clear that you are enjoying it. Your face is full of… merriment. I wonder if I’d like it. A romance novel hitting a chord perhaps? That would explain the manner in which you are twirling your hair. This passage in particular. I’ve noticed you curling your toes since 9th Street.

Though the tunnel is usually dark, that twinkle is illuminated by the frequently passing maintenance lights. With each one, a new look of enjoyment in your gaze. The music in my ears makes me seem distracted. I lower it to concentrate on you and your book. It’s barely a whisper now. Who can hear it with the terrible screetching outside anyway?

You’re sneakers are in your bag today. That’s new. Going somewhere before work? Lustrous navy heels surrounding tired feet. I can’t help but steal a glimpse every time you cross your legs. I wish I knew what the story is about, and why you read it every day. Are you re-reading it? You’ve been in this one for a month or two now.

My suspicions are confirmed when you get off early. Much to my dismay. A shorter morning than we usually share. I’ll have to deal with it. Same time, same place tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you and your book.

No related posts.

…and blogstice for all

Greg — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 22:07:16 +0000

It’s come to my attention that this site is written at an elementary school level. That’s right. Through the magic of the internet you can plug your url into a web page that will tell you what grade level you’re writing at. It works for MySpaces as well. I’m all about full disclosure, so I wanted to make sure everyone knew this. You can put that dictionary away when reading miabifilms.com. Furthermore, there will be no, I repeat, NO use of coherence, allegory, or logic whatsoever. (I do reserve the right to break this promise at anytime.)

The web page only seems to inspect your most recent post so I assume your “readability level” would vary from post to post. But as of right now, I’m a fourth grader. I would love to say that I have done this on purpose. That I’m writing a populous blog so as many people can enjoy it as possible. But the truth of the matter is… I don’t know how to write any more good.

Now, some of you may remember a post I made about a year ago entitled I Write Like a Girl. Again through the magic of the internet, here: the Gender Genie, it was determined that my writing has a distinct feminine quality. While I don’t necessarily agree with that, it does have its benefits. (For starters… and enders… I write for a women’s TV network) So, using deductive reasoning and a little faith in frivolous websites, it can be said that I write like a 4th grade girl.

I would like to thank my dear friend Ben for pointing all of this out. I love ya guy.

Try it for yourself: The Blog Readability Test.

UPDATE!!
I just ran this puppy through the blog readability test again. We’re up to a Junior High clip. And it doesn’t even detect sarcasm. Woohoo!

UPDATE!!
Whelp! Since I added that update comment above, miabifilms is back to being for elementary school kids.

Kickstarter

Are you kidding me?

Greg — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 19:14:58 +0000

Is the English language really the most difficult language to learn? I’ve always been told that. Everyone is doing it. Can’t be too hard. You’re telling me those “clicking” languages from sub-Saharan Africa are easier to learn?

Yes, reading and writing English can be a challenge. Homonyms can be such a drag. Homophones are another nightmare to deal with. And to make matters worse, we have the rhetorical question. Equal parts statement, sarcasm, proposition, encouragement, and question. But a question that doesn’t really require an answer.

Well I hate to be so cavalier when it comes to language, but I’m feeling strongly about this one. Here’s an idea: Use different punctuation when you put forth a rhetorical question in print or cyberspace. I propose we use a plus sign (+). No specific reason. It just seemed innocuous enough and grossly under-used. If anyone has any better suggestions, I’d love to hear them. Isn’t that a great idea though+ How are people supposed to know you aren’t looking for an answer? You don’t have the benefit of voice tone when you are writing something out. Sure there’s context, but context can be so damn deceiving!

If we all agree to use the conclusive plus-sign punctuation in rhetorical questions, no one will ever be confused again! I wonder how they deal with rhetorical questions in the Sahara+