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Box on a String
It’s really unfortunate when you get in an elevator that stinks from the person who was just in it. Really stinks badly. There’s nowhere to hide. You’re in a little box on a string. You just have to endure until you reach your floor. When you arrive at your destination, [more…]
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Bazooka Joe
01.14.10 | Permalink | 3 CommentsToday in the mail I got some unsolicited literature from the New York City Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Presumably they were asking for a donation toward cancer research. In a little window was a shiny nickel with a caption that read, “How can 5ยข save a child’s life?” Oh [more…]
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Subway Observations
A couple things I’ve observed recently while riding mass transit:
Hey! MTA, put the public address speakers INSIDE your subway cars. So your passengers can hear them? You can do both guys- inside and outside. When we’re stopped at First Ave and 90% of the passengers have their white ear buds in, listening [more…] -
Blog
Foster’s, Austrailian for Self-Loathing
How do these blatantly contemptuous Fosters Beer commercials continue to air? These things have flown under the radar for years now without a peep of opposition. You know them. Each commercial essentially painting Australians as imbeciles- by showing increasingly silly Aussie (re)interpretations of common behaviors. They are cleverly done and usually [more…]
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Direct Mail
For some reason, I received a catalog for outdoor event tenting in the mail. Fabric structures and greenhouses. Collapsable canopies. The occasional extra garage or shed. I have no idea how this has happened. How did I get on this list- And who do I thank?! There’s a deal [more…]
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Glue Traps
I was at my local bodega today and saw something peculiar. They were selling glue traps for mice. On the cover of the box was a picture of a mouse and a snake, both apparently stuck to the glue. Even though most of it was in Spanish, I don’t see what explanation [more…]
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“Jocks only think about sports…
…nerds only think about sex.” – Louis Skolnick
For years, I have been trying to whittle down the definition and differences between a Nerd and a Geek. It’s taken countless hours of submersion in both cultures; including brief stints of both social abandonment and societal mastery to finally arrive at this hypothesis.
My [more…] -
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Packing a subway car
The morning commute often leaves me amazed. Somehow, when it seems like there is absolutely no room left for just one additional person in that subway car, we manage to stop and pick up 15 more. Each stop means a slight adjustment for all riders. And somehow we manage. Most of [more…]
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Automated Answering Robots
Ever notice that whenever you call a doctor’s office or a support line or any place were they have an automated robot answering system, you always have to “listen carefully because the menu options have recently changed”. I’ve never called at just the right time when the menu options have been sitting stagnant for [more…]
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Once, Just Once
This is going to be a new series, like the Thought Bubbles.
Once, just once, I’d like to be standing at an elevator, waiting for the doors to open when I see a letter fly by in one of those mail chutes. You know, enjoying it’s exciting journey down to the collection box in the [more…] -
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Thought Bubble 6
When people use the expression “Be still my heart”, they are actually addressing one of their organs.
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