M i a b i . F i l m s » observation

Thought Bubble 23

Greg — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 05:19:55 +0000

PC got one thing right. They call it the ‘Recycling Bin’ whereas Macs call it the ‘Trash’.

Not only is Microsoft encouraging a greener lifestyle naming it this way, but it’s far more accurate. You’re simply recycling that disk space.

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Christmas Blizzard 2010

Greg — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 05:10:20 +0000

Snow! | 1:31 (2010)

Timelapse video of the 2010 Christmas Blizzard. Out the front window of my apartment. Brooklyn, NY. Tough to take credit for this one as pretty much anything looks cool in timelapse. The song is Are You Satisfied? by Marina and The Diamonds.

Seven Dwarfs

Greg — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 04:48:08 +0000

Just whistle while you work
And cheerfully together we can tidy up the place
So hum a merry tune
It won’t take long when there’s a song to help you set the pace

There’s this guy at work who is constantly whistling. Non-stop. He walks around all day with a too-jolly smirk and a too-jolly strut as he whistles the same indecipherable tune. I get Doppler Effect whistling so its always clear when he’s approaching or on the other side of the floor. This has been going on for a few months now. Did this fucker win the lottery or something? And if so, was it scratch-off or the numbers?

There is a lot of cattiness in my office. People complain about it to each other all the time. Everyone is aware of the whistling and everyone is annoyed by it, but no one will say anything. Alright I take that back… Someone did say something once. But it was said in this really passive aggressive way that completely failed. The guy just laughed and continued on. Whistling.

The problem is that we all really like the guy. There are no other complaints. All told, he seems pretty cool. He is going through a divorce and maybe this is a way of dealing with it. Or maybe he’s so happy about it that he wants to whistle. There’s nothing inherently wrong with people being happy at work. It just makes the pissed off people a little more pissed off. Don’t worry though, those people are always like that and generally never boil over. The point is, it’s become a thing. He’s the whistling guy at work. And no one will tell him.

Today, I went to the men’s room to wash my hands before eating lunch. As I opened the door, the bathroom was empty except for that one occupied stall. And the guy inside. Sitting down. Whistling away.

“That is hilarious.” I said out loud. Washed my hands and left.

I’m not the one telling him.

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Small Portions

Greg — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 04:02:03 +0000

Welcome back. Though I posted once or twice in August, It’s been nice to have pretty much taken the month off from this site. Did a little traveling. Got caught up on some tv and movie watching. Took more beatings at work. Had a nice time. But I’m back for the Fall. And so happy for it. It may be taboo to say it but I generally don’t like the Summer. Especially Summer in the city. I can’t stand sweating profusely and constantly being uncomfortable. Bring on the cool breezes and pumpkin apple potpourri that awaits in the next few months. Definitely my favorites of the year.

So was the break from doing this site fruitful in any way? Why yes. Yes it was. Here’s what I discovered this summer… Small portions. Ben & Jerry’s has come up with a god damn brilliant little item. It’s a little mini bucket of goodness. Only 3.6 ounces of ice cream. I’ve gotten a few of them. You can easily try all of the flavors. There’s even a spoon… built into the lid. Bite sized, serving sized meals are on the brink of a revolution. Just look at the sliders craze. It seams like every bar and restaurant in town is serving little White Castles now.

Here’s what else they need. Little 1-2 hotdog-sized packets of sauerkraut. I hate having to make an entire can of sauerkraut when I’m only trying to outfit one dog. I don’t mind the extra work, I’m just really really against wasting fermented cabbage.

Can you guys think of any other food that needs to be given the small portion treatment?

CPR

Greg — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:22:58 +0000

Why does someone always try to stop someone else from performing CPR? You’ve seen this scenario a hundred times at the movies or on a TV show. At some climactic point, a main character drowns or gets electrocuted and is rendered unconscious. Another main character, usually the love interest, is left trying to breathe life into the fallen star. Trying vigorously to rescue him or her from certain doom. At which point, a third character, usually part of some love triangle says, “Give up. He’s dead. He’s dead! It’s over! Give up! Stop!” There is usually a long dramatic pause as the two of them are left with the realization that this person might in fact be dead. But every time, the love interest or doctor or whomever refuses to accept this and feverishly goes back to work, against the urging of the other person. “Live! Live damn it! You’ve got to live!!” And every time, our fallen star coughs to life.

Why are we always trying to stop someone from performing CPR? Just let them perform the damn CPR. It’s gonna work!

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Box on a String

Greg — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 05:41:36 +0000

It’s really unfortunate when you get in an elevator that stinks from the person who was just in it. Really stinks badly. There’s nowhere to hide. You’re in a little box on a string. You just have to endure until you reach your floor. When you arrive at your destination, someone else is waiting to get on. You do your best to get off without making eye contact. Your gut is telling you to turn around and say, “That wasn’t me!” But you stop yourself because you’d be breaking some cultural convention by discussing farts with a complete stranger. Instead you run for it. That woman thinks you just farted in the elevator and there’s nothing you can really do about it. Guilty of a crime you didn’t commit because you happen to make a living on the 19th floor.

Luckily for you, the cycle continues until the smell dissipates. So in the end, everyone’s judging everyone. It all works out.

Then you go home and blog about farts.

Overheard in New York

Bazooka Joe

Greg — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:19:40 +0000

Today in the mail I got some unsolicited literature from the New York City Chapter of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Presumably they were asking for a donation toward cancer research. In a little window was a shiny nickel with a caption that read, “How can 5¢ save a child’s life?” Oh that’s a nice touch.

Now, scale of 1 to 10, how horrible of a person am I for tearing open that envelope, pocketing the nickel, and throwing out the spam? I mean, I didn’t read any of it. Right in the garbage. It felt strange to thow out a nickel though. A penny maybe. I could buy some Bazooka Joe with a nickel.

I’m not sure they thought this one through. I wonder why they didn’t just keep that nickel and put it towards saving a child’s life? Seems a bit counter-productive. How many children had to die for this mailing campaign? I knew without having to read anything on the inside of that envelope that that caption was probably not true and I’ll spend my nickels on bubblegum.

Please donate to your local Leukemia & Lymphoma Society today.

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Subway Observations

Greg — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:45:18 +0000

A couple things I’ve observed recently while riding mass transit:

Hey! MTA, put the public address speakers INSIDE your subway cars. So your passengers can hear them? You can do both guys- inside and outside. When we’re stopped at First Ave and 90% of the passengers have their white ear buds in, listening to Grizzly Bear, it becomes a necessity. I’m usually the one squinting like a maniac to hear the announcement. As if squinting is going to make me hear better. 90% of the time I can’t make out what they’re announcing. I could squint better…

Asking another passenger “what is going on” is not an option. If you miss that announcement, you’re winging it the rest of the way.

Standing in the yellow line as the train is coming is exhilirating. What a treat. That bubble of wind hits you in the face. A face, mere inches from a locomotive. Breathtaking. Equally exciting is when you are on the platform, trying to pass someone on the outside of the yellow line. And their back is turned to you. You have no idea if they’ll abruptly shift and knock you onto the tracks. Frenzy!

Not sure if this applies to others- I’ve noticed it particularly on the L train… Anyone else detect a distinct smell that precedes an oncoming train? It’s the smell of air freshener. It smells like flowers. Its as if giant, pink urinal cakes are strapped to the front of the trains.

Commuters who are rocking a Kindle or other ebook reader are still looked at as “weird early-adopters”.

Lastly, people who wrap themselves around the pole in the middle of the car, while others are clamoring for a little piece of pole real estate, should be tarred and feather. They need to be made examples of. Put them on a Judas Cradle in the middle of Union Square. Their indifference to the needs of fellow commuters should not go unpunished.

Foster’s, Austrailian for Self-Loathing

Greg — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:36:53 +0000

How do these blatantly contemptuous Fosters Beer commercials continue to air? These things have flown under the radar for years now without a peep of opposition. You know them. Each commercial essentially painting Australians as imbeciles- by showing increasingly silly Aussie (re)interpretations of common behaviors. They are cleverly done and usually pretty funny. But no one seems to take issue with the sentiment. Apparently Australians are just that laid back. I suppose the spots are reclaiming stupidity. Simplicity. Maybe even a show of solidarity? I’m not offended by these commercials. Humor… goes a long way. So does good marketing. Just merely bringing attention to it. If I went and made a commercial lampooning all Polish people as stupid, people would be pissed.

The thing is, since Foster’s is an Australian lager, they’re doing it to themselves. What is with the self-loathing, Foster’s?

Cute Girl, Catchy Dance

Direct Mail

Greg — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:58:47 +0000

For some reason, I received a catalog for outdoor event tenting in the mail. Fabric structures and greenhouses. Collapsable canopies. The occasional extra garage or shed. I have no idea how this has happened. How did I get on this list- And who do I thank?! There’s a deal this month. 25% off. I had no idea I wanted one. I mean, yeah I did- But it’s way down the list.

I’m curious to know what course of events caused me to receive this catalog. I wonder if some computer somewhere cross-referenced my name from a bunch of lists somewhere else and decided that I might be interested in outdoor tenting. Or perhaps I fell under the umbrella of some blanket marketing campaign. Though, it is hard to believe someone could be so off the mark as to offer giant fabric structures to the area of Brooklyn I live in. In that… I have no place to put one. But who knows, maybe my neighbors are into them?

Either way, the team is giving it a hell of a shot and kudos for going the old-fashioned route. I don’t want to poo poo all of their efforts. If you’re in the market for livestock housing or other large outdoor coverings, you should check out Clear Span. They look pretty good. Payments as low as $99 *per month. Let me know if you want to borrow the catalog.

Thought Bubble 21