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Let me preface this by saying that A) I’ve been watching a lot of Star Wars lately and B) I’m completely aware of how geeky this discussion is- but I don’t care. I spend a lot of time thinking about a proper Star Wars viewing order. I spend a lot of time thinking about a proper Star Wars viewing order. That is… the correct way in which you should see the 6 Star Wars movies. Especially if you are a Star Wars virgin. For the uninitiated, the original 1977 Star Wars is episode 4.

I truly want to impart an optimal viewing experience onto a newbie. This is important to me. I want you to feel the same way I’ve felt for years. The wonder. The amazement. The unadulterated geekery. While it is impossible for a virgin (or anyone else who hasn’t seen it) to consume Star Wars in the same way I have, since so much of the fun is locked up in nostalgia, I do of course think anyone can still enjoy it. As long as they watch it properly.

***SPOILERS AHEAD*** If you are indeed a Star Wars newbie. Do not read any further. Contact me directly and I’ll set you on the path to the light side. It is your destiny. The following discussion is aimed at people who have seen all 6 movies and who are nerdy and brilliant enough to read on. ***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Up until a few days ago there was only one way to view these films. Original Trilogy (OT – Episodes 4, 5, & 6) first, Prequel Trilogy (PT – Episodes 1, 2, & 3) second. That’s it. No question. Watching them chronologically from Episode 1 to Episode 6 is simply out of the question. DO NOT try this. Horrible idea.

The OT is parsecs better than the prequels and will encourage any virgin to actually stick with it. These movies are all classics and not crushed under the weight of their special effects. They’re actual movies, not video games. Furthermore, the twists stay in tact. All the fun shit- like Luke finding out that Vader is his father or that the little green guy is actually the greatest Jedi ever- is not disrupted. And while I do think the prequels do have some merit, watching them first ruins all of this.

There is a distinct story-telling and special effects gap between the OT and the PT. Watching the originals first will make this transition less jarring. This is how the majority of people over 15 have seen Star Wars in the first place and it most likely still remains the best way to watch these movies. At least for a newbie. Besides, I submit that this is how Lucas intended it anyway. He could have started from the beginning if he wanted to. But he didn’t. The series is supposed to be non-linear… so why change it?

There is another. In doing a little research on the topic, I’ve come to the conclusion that there is in fact another viable way to watch the Star Wars films.

The Flashback Method. It goes like this… Watch A New Hope(4)/Empire(5), then flashback to Clones(2)/Sith(3). After Vader’s revelation that he is Luke’s pop, find out how it all went down via flashback. Then end on Vader’s redemption/Sidious’ demise in Jedi(6). Leave Phantom Menace(1) as an added bonus to go back and watch after it is all done. I honestly believe The Phantom Menace is a pointless movie and is not necessary to the story as a whole.

Yes this method essentially shortens the series to five films, but you’re basically trimming the fat. Most of the twists of the OT are preserved here I believe, with the exception of the Skywalker siblings being born at the end of Sith. (Luke and Leia were originally revealed to be brother and sister in Jedi) However, this revelation is simply moved up in the story. You know Anakin is Luke’s father, but when Padme announces she’s having twins in Sith, you’ll wonder who Luke’s twin is! Is it Han??? So it’s not spoiled, just relocated. Additionally, after the drama of Empire and Han’s imprisonment in a coffee table, he’ll be gone for two movies, which will only increase our concern as to what happens to our favorite scoundrel.

A recap:

Method 1 (Traditional)
456123 – Still the best way. OT first, PT second.

Method 2 (Flashback)
452361 – Pretty good option. Episodes 2 and 3 become a flashback.

Method 3 (Chronological)
123456 – Don’t even fucking try it.

The more I think about it, the more I love the flashback method. But I don’t know if I’d go through with recommending it to a newbie. Might only be a recommendation for Star Wars fans who are re-watching. Thoughts?

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I hadn’t seen Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace in a few years. It is clearly my least favorite movie in the entire Star Wars series, but I don’t remember hating it as so many do. However, after watching this brilliant 70 minute video review of that film, I don’t think I’ll ever need to or want to watch it again.

Narrated by a character who sounds like a cross between Steven Wright and The Joker from The Dark Knight, the review is actually a really intriguing dissection of movie making in general. In addition, it is a love letter to the original trilogy, and a challenge to Lucas himself. Comparing the prequels to the original trilogy just makes you realize how wonderful those original films are. The review uses a lot of archival footage and tacky visuals with a healthy dose of some very dark comedy as well. The narrator is portrayed as a somewhat dim man who hates his son and has murderous tendencies. But the review still comes off as very witty and insightful, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it 100%. Maybe 98%. It feels more like a documentary than anything else. It’s some kind of hybrid thing.

LOST producer Damen Lindelof is quoted as saying this about the review, ““Your life is about to change. This is astounding film making. Watch ALL of it.”

Indeed, I watched the first part and couldn’t stop watching. It was a quick 70 minutes. It’s so much more than a mere movie review.

So if you are interested, this should get you started…

http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/17/watch-this-70-minute-video-review-of-star-wars-the-phantom-menace/

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I just heard about this awesome awesome project called Star Wars: Uncut. I am mesmerized by this concept. They’ve divided Star Wars: A New Hope into 15 second clips and organized them on their website. You go on the site and “claim” an open scene. Then go off on your own and film a reenactment of that scene any way you want. I’ve seen a lot of stop-motion stuff, straight up animation. recreations in backyards. Whatever you want. However you’d like to re-imagine your favorite scene. Once you’re done, you submit it to them and at the end of the project they’ll stitch the whole thing together to create a completely fan-made remake of Star Wars. I find this cool on so many levels that don’t even have to do with Star Wars. The internet allows hundreds of fans from around the world to collaborate on a project without ever speaking to one and other. Check out the site for yourself and watch the trailer below. Incredible. And there are so many other movies they can try this with.

Star Wars: Uncut Trailer from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.

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This is a pretty picture. Evolution of the Toasters. If you don’t know what this is, you really need to find out.

Click the picture to enlarge.

Toasters

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Fantastic recreation of the the scene in The Matrix where Neo dodges bullets in bullet-time. Done with Legos. Courtesy of LegoMatrix.

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Back in 1924, futurists had designs for a radio-controlled robot police force. It’s odd to me that police robots were never pursued in any large capacity. Seems like a perfect use for a robot. A robo… cop. Give me a radio-controlled police tank or something, anything. They have autonomous killer planes in the military, but nothing to help John Q. Law fight crime on a daily basis.

Check out the chilling insert illustration of the robots in full riot control mode. Those rioters really look frightened. As they should be. Unless of course those are just people waiting in line at the Hoagy Carmichael show. Hulking police robots, with a spinning mace for a hand, would never overreact would they?

Drop it.

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You’ve probably had dirty thoughts about someone who can read your mind. You probably walked right passed them.

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In case any of you are consuming miabifilms via RSS feed or Google Reader, I wanted to clue you into a new feature we have going here. Miabi Polls! I’m going to make this a monthly thing so don’t be afraid to stop by miabifilms.com, look at the pretty site, and make your choice. Its right there to the left of your screen, in the sidebar under the picture. See it?

Speaking of pictures and voting, this might be the greatest thing ever…

Barack Skywalker

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A little old, but this is too amazing for words. Watch as this guy’s Macbook turns into a spaceship and artfully flies away. I would love to meet the 3D artist that did this. The attention to detail is incredible. Watch the desk get burned as it takes off. Or the pilot’s head move. Incredible. Space!

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Folks. This is a glorious day. Many people know my love of 3D. It’s my favorite gimmick. I believe everyone should own a pair of good 3D glasses. Non-cereal box variety. That’s why I went on eBay a few years back and got a pair of 3D clip-on specs. This way, I could conveniently flip them up and out of the way when I’m not using them. Well, now I present to you my first 3D movie. Whip out your red and blue 3D googles and enjoy a wild ride in a stolen space ship. In multiple dimensions!

Here’s the original movie, posted yesterday. You can find the plot there. No idea why we’re calling it “Don’t Ask”. Don’t ask.

And here it is in 3D…

Retro!

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